This is an excerpt from the book 'The Totally Biased Guide to Southern College Football' by Pete Davis, available now on Amazon.com's Kindle for just 99 cents at: amazon.com/dp/B005FRFMYW
And you can follow me on twitter: @petedavis1
ARKANSAS RAZORBACKS
Based in Fayetteville. Gateway to Dogpatch.
Fayetteville is located in the Ozark Mountains in the extreme northwest corner of the state. Legendary Georgia announcer Larry Munson used to bemoan the long trip there saying it took two weeks by plane, train and horse buggy.
The razorback is the ugliest mascot this side of Stanford’s buck-toothed tree. It’s a giant, ferocious, red pig with tusks. Arkansas is the only fan base that enjoys wearing swine on their heads. More on this pervasive pig later.
They may have the best chant/yell in college football. Since the 1920s every time Arkansas kicks off the entire crowd screams “Wooo, Pig, Sooie!” It’s known as the Hog Call and it’s enough to make you swear off ham. The fans are very good at it and they should be since for half of them it’s their vocation the rest of the week.
The entire call is a finely-tuned and coordinated act between vocal cord and body. You slowly raise your arms from the knees to above the head during the Woo part, no less than 8 seconds for each Woo. Also, the fingers must wiggle and the Woo should build in volume and pitch as the arms rise.
When the Woo is finished, the arms are quickly brought down with fists clenched as if performing a chin-up as you yell “Pig!”
Then, in a move only Generalissimo Francisco Franco could love, the right arm is extended up and out away from the body as you scream “Sooie!”
And if the team wins, you do all of this three times then yell “Razorbacks!” whilst pumping your right arm like a prisoner watching the Playboy channel.
But if the team loses you must do these chants and genuflections backwards while at the same time bowing to the Bill Clinton Presidential Library and Cathouse in Little Rock.
Their colors are cardinal and white, the same as bacon.
Razorbacks are known for their bad temper and worse hygiene. And the pig is no prize either. Introduced into America in the 1500s by Spanish explorer Hernando De Soto, they took to their new freedom like, well, pigs to slop. I believe Slop is located between Forrest City and Stuttgart.
Arkansas has a live mascot named Tusk, but he is not a real razorback since they were hunted to death locally for their meat, the ivory in their tusks, and the dilithium crystals in their hooves. Tusk is a Russian boar, not to be confused with Vlad Putin, who is merely a Russian bore. Razorbacks are mainly found today in the Australian Outback feasting on dingoes and bloomin’ onions.
Not all of Tusk’s predecessors had sterling careers as mascot. The following paragraph is a direct quotation from Arkansasrazorbacks.com:
“Big Red III escaped from an exhibit near Eureka Springs in the summer of 1977 and ravaged the countryside before being gunned down by an irate farmer. Another live mascot, Ragnar, was a wild hog captured in south Arkansas by Leola farmer Bill Robinson. Before Ragnar’s spree was done, the mighty animal had killed a coyote, a 450-pound domestic pig and seven rattlesnakes. Ragnar died in 1978 of unknown causes.”
Unknown causes?! Do you think Ragnar’s untimely passing might have had something to do with indigestion brought on by an over-indulgence of rattlensnake?
 | |
| This is a Rubens painting of Saint Tebow taming a razorback. |
If you like what you've read so far just wait until you see the rest about Ole Miss and all the other SEC schools, as well as Texas, Texas A&M, Clemson, Georgia Tech, Florida State and Miami. It's all in 'The Totally Biased Guide to Southern College Football' by Pete Davis and available for the price of a Whopper Jr. on Kindle at: Amazon.com/dp/B005FRFMYW
And you can follow me on twitter: @petedavis1
No comments:
Post a Comment