This is an excerpt from the book 'The Totally Biased Guide to Southern College Football' by Pete Davis, available now on Amazon.com's Kindle for just 99 cents at: amazon.com/dp/B005FRFMYW
And you can follow me on twitter: @petedavis1
KENTUCKY WILDCATS
Based in Lexington. No, Frankfurt. Or Frankfort. No, that’s not right, it’s Louisville. Nope, uh, Lexington! Yes, Lexington. I was right the first time. Maybe. Who cares until basketball season anyway?
Wherever it is the University of Kentucky is the forgotten member of the Southeastern Conference mainly because it should be. First of all it’s not in the Southeast. And it sided with the Yankees in that border dispute. So it ought to be glad it’s even allowed to play with the big boys of the SEC when it comes to football. They’re lucky the rest of us even talk to them.
The two main reasons they’re allowed in the SEC is to use them as punching bags in football and make the conference look good in basketball against those stuck-up snobs from Duke.
Their greatest football coach was Adolph Rupp and he was their basketball coach. Here was a man so mean it’s mystifying why he didn’t coach a man’s sport instead of wasting his genius on that round ball fad.
Their second best football coach was Bear Bryant and he only stayed there eight weeks. Why? This is a state and college that prefers basketball and horse racing to football. I’ll let you digest that a second or two. But what do you expect from a state that thinks their grass is blue. Yeah, maybe if you’re smoking it. I’ve driven through Kentucky twice and the damn grass is green. Green I say. Quit looking at the lawn through the prism of a mint julep glass and sober up. The only thing blue is the mood there after every Wildcat football game.
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| Top of 2011 recruiting class. |
Football season in Lexington brings more suicides than a three-month-long winter solar eclipse in Finland. These folk haven’t seen a national title since Harry Truman was President. For you Auburn grads that was in 1950. Harry. Truman. Prez-e-dent. Oh I give up.
Their school colors are blue and white, luckily already giving them half of what you need for a flag of surrender.
They chose this color scheme in 1892, but for the 1891 season they had another color too. Yellow. Not just any Yella. Like their collective backbone or lack of it, light yella. Blue and light yella. Now there’s a combo that’s guaranteed to put fear into the hearts of your opponents. The colors of depression and cowardice.
Even Kentuckians could see where this was a mistake so they dropped the yella for the white, preferring a sad surrender without the running-away-screaming part.
When it came time to decide what shade of blue to use the school president Richard Stoll pulled off his tie and held it up for a vote. The students voted to get him a valet to choose his ties for him.
If you like what you've read so far just wait until you see the rest about Kentucky and all the other SEC schools, as well as Texas, Texas A&M, Clemson, Georgia Tech, Florida State and Miami. It's all in 'The Totally Biased Guide to Southern College Football' by Pete Davis and available for the price of a Whopper Jr. on Kindle at: Amazon.com/dp/B005FRFMYW
And you can follow me on twitter: @petedavis1
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