Friday, September 2, 2011

Vanderbilt Commodores

This is an excerpt from the book 'The Totally Biased Guide to Southern College Football' by Pete Davis, available now on's Kindle for just 99 cents at:
And you can follow me on twitter: @petedavis1
VANDERBILT COMMODORES, The Official Homecoming School of the SEC
Based in Nashville to prove even college-educated people can enjoy country music. Johnny Cash wore black because the Commodores saddened him so.
            The Commodores are the only team named after Lionel Ritchie’s backup band and a robber baron.
Cornelius Vanderbilt. A multi-millionaire too cheap to buy a comb.
Vanderbilt is to the Southeastern Conference what that skinny white kid sitting on the end of the bench is to Auburn basketball, there to raise the grade point average.
Vandy is the crème rising to the top of the SEC’s steaming pile of academia.  It’s also there to provide a handy punching bag to the rest of the conference, raising both GPA and morale.
A good thing about Vanderbilt athletes are they are the only players who can treat their own injuries.
The Commodores used to field a pretty good team at the beginning of the 1900s, but then again so did the Kaiser.  That time period was when students went to college to actually study and earn a degree to get a real job, not to play football for money.  Before the advent of agents.  Before Cam Newton’s father was even born.
But nowadays Vandy has such disdain for football and athletics in general they got rid of their athletic department.  The team is made up of fitness nuts rounded up around campus on game day.  They are told they are going to star in a reality show about college football.
Despite this impediment to success they do manage to pull off the odd upset here and there.  This is usually chalked up to pharmaceuticals placed in the opposing teams’ water buckets by the Vandy medical students.
They began play in 1890 with a 40-0 thrashing of city rival University of Nashville.  It was the first football game played in Tennessee, so suck it Vols.
In 1896 they met again and the game was interrupted a few times by both players and fans fighting on the field.  It got so bad the game was halted by the referees who first called the game a draw.  Much later the Commodores were given the victory.
The Nashville American newspaper had this to say about the melees:
“If a moment’s thought had been given to the deplorable results which must inevitably flow it would have never occurred, but the cool heads in the minority and were liberally punched when they attempted to advise a suspension of hostilities.”
            In other words, the peacemakers had their heads handed to them.
If you like what you've read so far just wait until you see the rest about Vanderbilt and all the other SEC schools, as well as Texas, Texas A&M, Georgia Tech, Florida State and Miami. It's all in 'The Totally Biased Guide to Southern College Football' by Pete Davis and available for the price of a Whopper Jr. on Kindle at:
And you can follow me on twitter: @petedavis1

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